10 Commandments for Electoral Success In Victoria

10 Commandments for Electoral Success in Victoria

1]  Don’t stand if you’re not a lawyer and had a proper job –  you’re ruled out for the electorate as a real person
2]  Resist moving the lips – the electors will know you’re lying
3]  Never answer a question yes or no – the electors will fall off their chairs
4]  Never start a response with honestly – the electors will turn off in disbelief
5]  Promise the world to electors  – words cost nothing
6] Splash the electors’ cash –if your’re caught, plead the headaches and hide away from the Blue Heelers
7]  Photo shots with dogs and cats – electors might believe you’re human and decent
8]  Subscribe to Ancestry – you’re all Greek/Italian/ Lebanese to the electors
9] Eat meat pies – it’s good enough for the PM, but write off the vegetarian vote
10] Don’t dine with crims and order the pasta– electors might believe you’re looking for dough